Resources for Emotionally Focused Therapy &
Hold Me Tight® Seattle
What I feel in our cycle: Reactive and Vulnerable Emotions
When working to understand our cycle we often group emotions into two categories: •Reactive Emotions that we show on the outside. They almost always happen in response to vulnerable emotions.
•Less noticeable Vulnerable Emotions that we generally avoid showing or sharing
Common Reactive Emotions
Here is a sample list of reactive emotions that are usually related to some level of hurt and anger.
- Angry
- Annoyed
- Bitter
- Defensive
- Desperate
- Dismissed
- Flooded
- Frustrated
- Grumpy
- Guilty
- Hurt
- Irritated
- Jealous
- Miserable
- Nervous
- Numb
- On the spot
- Resentful
- Sick
- Tense
- Trapped
- Uncomfortable
- Upset
- Overwhelmed
Common Vulnerable Emotions
The most common vulnerable emotions are listed below along with several vulnerable thoughts/assessments of yourself that are closely connected with a vulnerable emotion.
- Worry
- Anxiety
- Fear (Core Emotion)
- Panic
- Dread
- Disappointment
- Sad (Core Emotion)
- Despair
- Lonely
- Overwhelmed
- Insecure (Thought)
- Helpless (Thought)
- Powerless (Thought)
- Shame (Self-Disgust)
Research about emotions
Researchers have identified 6 “core” emotions that are experienced around the globe regardless of culture. Each emotion has a range from experiencing just a little bit of that emotion to a huge amount of that emotion. The chart below lists the 6 core emotions along with a sample list of terms to describe a range of each emotion.
You can learn more about core emotions at Paul Ekman’s Universal Emotions site.
Note: Ekman has recently added a 7th emotion, “contempt” to his list, making the above graphic out of date.
You can also learn about other classifications of emotions here.
